Hunter's Revenge

This is our new addition to our family. We named him Hunter (Hunter's Revenge on papers) cause in German, Jagir means Hunter...So, we thought I only made sense to call him Hunter's Revenge because of how we lost Jagir.
We got this baby from the same kennel we got Jagir. In fact, he came from the same Dad as Jagir. That was a blessing.
Hunter has added some peace to our lives sense the tragic loss of our sweet Jagir. I felt a little guilty, Ok.... a lot guilty, for getting him before we really "got" him. I understand some have mixed emotions about 'replacing' a dog lost. I am not the only one I have to consider here. I have 6 kids that need this dog in more than one way. And so do my husband and I....
He has brought great happiness to our lives and I don't regret making the decision to get him.I only regret the circumstances.
Hunter fits right in.
He weighed a whopping 4.5 lbs when we got him at just under 6 weeks old. He is almost 8 weeks old now and weighs in at 6 big ones.
He sleeps wonderfully in his big wire doggie cage we bought him and hardly ever even whimpers when we put him to bed for nap or all night.

I would like to add, that we are taking the steps to ensure nothing happens to him. Wayne is adding a couple of wheels to our very heavy gate and I am gonna do training to keep him from going beyond his boundaries. He is already sitting pretty and sitting down on command, Well.......with treats of course.
Our 7.5 month female does all those wonderful tricks wtihout treats. She is just good like that, LOL.
Anyway...just wanted to introduce the new arrival. Who could resist those baby blue eyes?!?

How could they?

This

This dog the best dog we ever had. And we have had many dogs.

Sunday, Dec. 6th...he was brutally shot by a neighbor. These peoples' kids used to come over and play with him. My son went to their house and he followed. They obvioulsy didn't see him as a threat. They said that he was gonna get under their house. He was shot in the middle of his stomach at the belly button. Twice. He obvioulsy was in rolled over in submission, which was something he did sometimes. He ran all the way home, down our long drive way and my daughter saw him fall over. I went out and and saw him trying to take his last breath. That image is sketched in my head forever.

If I shot every dog that comes into my yard, it would be a pet cemetary out here.

Jagir (yay-ger) was such a sweet kind dog. He never hurt anyone. This didn't have to happen. He would run in the house as fast as he could when he heard ppl target practicing. He was terrified of guns. These ppl knew that also. All they had to do was shoot into the air or yell at him, he would have came home.

He was my kids' best friend, our protecter when my husband was at work, at least we felt like we was. We always said, "If a stranger just brought him a hotdog, he would let them in".

My heart is crumbling into peices. I will never get over this. How could they?

Me and My New friend, (unwanted friend that Is)

I remember just not too long ago I would say to ppl, "I have barely had 10 hours of sleep all week long." Well, lately I've been telling them, I am barely awake for 10 hours at a time. Often times, less.
I was just recently dx'd with Fibro. Whcich explains all the tiredness and weak feeling all the time. I can seriously go out to the car for something, come back in as if I had just run up and down the street. To Vacume my living room is a two-part job. Have to stop and rest beore I can finish.
Dr. has put me on a two-week trial pack of Savella. Well, hard to tell if it is gonna help or not, cause I have been in a flare up with RSD and Fibro both for several days now. Even spent 2 days wheeling 'round in my ol wheelchair. That poor thing hasn't seen a butt in quite sometime now.
I guess I have to get another 2 week trial....only this time it is already in my system and I dont wanna start the 12.5's again and work my way up. Maybe I will have her RX me only 2 weeks of the 50 mgs to see for sure.....AFTER the flare up is gone of course.
It is one thing to suspect having a disease, and another to find that in fact, I do. I have heard more positive feedback about pain contrlol with fibro than I ever heard with RSD. These 5 mg norcos just aren't cutting it. Not even taken the edge off. I feel I have the right to have adequate pain control, if possible with at least one of the terrible chronic pain and fatigue conditions. Already know my luck with that concerning the RSD.
How does fibro affect "me" personally?
First, the fatigue...OMG! The loss of desire for anything due to fatigue. Thank God my 15 yr old daughter now has her permitt and believe me when I tell you, I let her use it all she wants. I now have my personal driver.
Secondly, the RLS, (restless leg syndrome), I have yet to find a breathing exercise or mind power concentration to help with the RLS.
Thirdly, the pain. Yes...the "P" word. That is a 4-letter word in my book. The feeling of my muslces coming off the bone is one symptom of pain I feel. Sometimes it feels as tho I feel the grain if my muscles buring inside or tearing. So hard to explain to one who hasn't lived a day with it. One day is all it would take for one to undertand what it is like being me. And they would be tryin like Hell to get the clock to strike midnight early.
I can honestly say I lve my life on the inside. I am proud of who I am. I am proud of who my kids are. I hope my light shines on them each day of their lives. I hope to be an inspiration to them.
They are wonderful for always asking...."Mom how do you feel today? What is your pain level? What is your stress level? Do you need to go rest?" These are real questions my innocent sweet babies have to ask me everyday. It breaks my heart to see them feeling sorry for me, or saying they would take some of the pain if it would make me feel better......Tessa 13 and Kelli 11, like to lie in bed next to me and intangle thier lil fingers in my hair. They have no idea how relaxing that is to me. How is sooths my every stress.
I have accepted my RSD the best I think one can. I have yet to accept the fibromyalgia. I will tho, and 'before' it gets me down and beats me.

The Past, the Present and the Future...

I have this feeling deep down inside me, the feeling of being able to rise above what life has offered me and forced me to use to the best of my ability....
I was always a vibrant and ambitous young lady. I had dreams, goals, expectations, and courage to meet them all. I was a young mother and wife with the strength of an ox.
I decided in my young years that my family was complete. I had 6 of the most wonderful brave kids in the world. I had in my future a long happy life with the prospect of becoming a successful Child Psychologist. I was on the road to fullfilling my dreams to make my children proud and want for nothing.
I have always been reasonable in the desires of our lives. Just to be able to live, exsperience and conqure.
In a flash, it was stripped away. I had completed my family and wanted to move on and grow together. For some reason, my hand changed before my eyes.
I had a tubal ligation that changed our lives forever. Who knew that my dreams would soon change in an instant?
Now I dream to be pain free. I dream for my kids to know a mother of greater health. I dream for my husband to have a wife he can call his equal. My dreams are just dreams.
I wake to decide that I am the one to make them come true. Some of them, I mean. I live through my kids, when I watch them living, playing, dancing....
I see my husband greatfully proud of what he has with me.
I found a way to make all my dreams come true in a different light.
I found a way to live.